Entry 16

I've waited for months to write about this. Sure, everyone talks about it. Anyone could write about it. But I want to do it right.

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It's starts small--with insignificant details. You probably don’t even realize you’re noticing them. But slowly homesickness begins to manifest itself in your mind.

Time seems to slip away at your fingertips.

Days pass without acknowledgment.

You grasp at any familiar feeling.

It's easy to get lost in the past. Sometimes old feelings linger longer than they should. Try to remember your brain wants what’s familiar-not necessarily what’s good for you. Memories can and will haunt you if you’re not careful.

Homesickness is easy to write off and say

”Get over it”

“You’ll still have all those things when you go home!”

”Focus on what’s here”

You get the gist of it.

Truth is, homesickness is so much more than missing your dog or how your moms cooking tastes on christmas morning.

It reflects our truest desires-the aspects of our lives that still affect us despite it only existing within our past, perhaps even our future. We remember the word ‘home’ bittersweetly. Each passing day of this present existence we experience becomes slightly more painful. It’s exceptionally lonely.

This is precisely why exchange students may channel this into self-destructive outlets.

However, despite this really depressing picture I’ve painted, homesickness is actually so helpful. Sounds fake but hear me out.

Should you ever leave home someday, homesickness will follow you like your own shadow--you couldn't escape it even if you wanted to. However when dealt with in healthy ways homesickness can actually be used to your advantage and benefits.

Your new friends, host families, and other exchange students are great outlets. Even your teachers at school. It sounds unreal but people actually want to hear how you’re doing. They’ll check in on you and ask how your exchange is. The proof may be small but it’s there. You just have to look for the signs. Sometimes it’s the little things that will keep you going. Inch by inch and second by second, life will get better. I know this too.

For me, I actually got better by getting closer with my host parents. Sometimes by losing one home, you find another in the place you least expected it.

(For more information on how that happened check out my other blog post “Look On The Bright Side”😘).